How did she go from this... |
to this? |
So it seems like everyone I know is pregnant or just had a baby. My sister-in-law. My cousin-in-law. Friends at work. Friends on the Internet. Even Rex is talking about starting to try for another baby.
I'll admit, I have weak moments, and I will want another little one. But then reality always slams into me full force. We are currently living in a travel trailer. We don't know for sure if we are staying in Texas or moving back to California. We are trying to pay bills off. I would really like to go back to school. We barely have enough time to give Kylie the attention that she deserves.
I have also found that I love the age Kylie's at now. She is wild and exploring and sweet. She is her own little person now. She will throw herself at me and give me a huge hug. Babies can't do that. Don't get me wrong, I loved her just as much when she was a baby, but it was so different. I was scared out of my mind. I had no clue what I was doing. I had a million and one hormones wreaking havoc on my body and mind.
At the daycare, I'll sometimes sub in the nursery (six weeks to one year old babies), and while I love caring for them, I don't have quite so much fun as I have with my class of one to two year olds. I guess I love the stimulation of being with them, and the interaction I have with them.
But then I start thinking, well of course I don't have a close connection with any of the babies in the nursery, first they're not mine, duh. And second, I'm not just in charge of one, I have four. Kind of hard to really enjoy the baby stuff when I'm on a constant cycle of feeding, diaper changing, and putting down for naps. And I'd feel so different if it was my own baby.
So yeah, I still want to have another child in the not so distant future, but I think we are going to sit on the idea of it for awhile longer. And as my hubby always likes to say, practicing for making a baby isn't all that bad.
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