Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Baby Fever?

How did she go from this...
to this?

So it seems like everyone I know is pregnant or just had a baby.  My sister-in-law.  My cousin-in-law.  Friends at work.  Friends on the Internet.  Even Rex is talking about starting to try for another baby.

I'll admit, I have weak moments, and I will want another little one.  But then reality always slams into me full force.  We are currently living in a travel trailer.  We don't know for sure if we are staying in Texas or moving back to California.  We are trying to pay bills off.  I would really like to go back to school.  We barely have enough time to give Kylie the attention that she deserves. 

I have also found that I love the age Kylie's at now.  She is wild and exploring and sweet.  She is her own little person now.  She will throw herself at me and give me a huge hug.  Babies can't do that.  Don't get me wrong, I loved her just as much when she was a baby, but it was so different.  I was scared out of my mind.  I had no clue what I was doing.  I had a million and one hormones wreaking havoc on my body and mind. 

At the daycare, I'll sometimes sub in the nursery (six weeks to one year old babies), and while I love caring for them, I don't have quite so much fun as I have with my class of one to two year olds.  I guess I love the stimulation of being with them, and the interaction I have with them. 

But then I start thinking, well of course I don't have a close connection with any of the babies in the nursery, first they're not mine, duh.  And second, I'm not just in charge of one, I have four.  Kind of hard to really enjoy the baby stuff when I'm on a constant cycle of feeding, diaper changing, and putting down for naps.  And I'd feel so different if it was my own baby.

So yeah, I still want to have another child in the not so distant future, but I think we are going to sit on the idea of it for awhile longer.  And as my hubby always likes to say, practicing for making a baby isn't all that bad.

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